From My Brain

I just finished reading "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult!
It was amazing.
It moved me in ways I cannot describe.
I was crying within the first few chapters of the book and several times throughout the book.
This is not the first Jodi Picoult book I have read. I first read "My Sister's Keeper" after reading the blurb on the back of the book in a bookstore. That book had a massive effect on me as well, and made me eager to read more of Jodi's works.
So I did some research and decided on "The Pact".
Gosh I'm tearing up and getting shivers just thinking about it.
Jodi's style lets you look into the past and present of the story through the different perspectives of each character. We get to know them through their back story and discover how they've ended up where they are now.
Jodi presents us with a controversial topic, and through her characters, she gives us all the different points of view for us to think about and then discover our own opinions on these issues which, we may not have ever thought about.
Jodi's books are unlike anything I've read before and "The Pact" is far from a teeny bopper romance book. It incorporates a controversial issue with a heart-wrenching story, without the traditional predictability of "Happily Ever After".
I would have to say "The Pact" is my favourite of the two. But only just. I love them both so much and got so wrapped up in the story and the characters, I didn't want their story to end.
I like to think about the characters, why they did the things they did, what they're up to now and how they are coping.
I just love when books make me feel this way. How they make me really think about what I would do in the same situation, and leave me feeling the emotion days after I've read the book, and any other time I think of it for that matter.
Jodi Picoult is an amazing author, she draws me right into the story and the characters, makes me really think, and leaves an impression on me that will probably last a lifetime.

I haven't written on this in two years. Alot has happened and its interesting to go back and read what i was thinking two years ago.
Anyway I wont just be using this for blogging but also for a place to put my creative writing pieces, something i have recently started to do out of boredom and the need of a creative outlet. Well this is one i just did.

Use the following words in a short story:
lunchbox, paperclips, principal, swing, girl with the pink ribbon.


Ordinary.

Mr Wahlor, that was the name of the local primary schools principal. He was a squat man with glasses, grey hair and a bushy grey beard to match. He sat at his desk staring aimlessly into his lunchbox his wife, Edna, had packed him that morning. A sandwich with lettuce, cheese and tomato, a packet of salt and vinegar chips and a banana. It was what he ate everyday at 12:45pm, so routine, so ordinary. But this day was different. It wasn't 12:45pm, but 4:04pm in the afternoon.
How he wished for it to be one of those ordinary days.
He sighed and turned in his chair to look out the window. Down below he could see the empty playground, the faded orange monkey bars, the big yellow slide and the swing set with one remaining swing. All the trimmings of an ordinary playground, except for one major difference, to the side of the playground was an almost empty sandpit, its contents piled on the edges, fenced off with blue and white police tape.
No, this had been no ordinary day.
At 10:35am that morning, just after the beginning of recess, Mr Wahlor was in the staff room pinning a flier to the noticeboard, when one of the teachers on yard-duty came bursting through the door. Her face was drained of colour, her body was trembling, the words were barely coming out of her mouth. All she could muster was "terrible, children, sandpit". That was enough for Mr Wahlor, and the whole staffroom for that matter. They rushed out the door in which the sobbing teacher had just came through. The scene that met their eyes was one of disarray. Children crying, teachers screaming and a small life-less hand protruding from the sand in between the sandcastles.
Police, parents, counsellors, press, children. So much going on, he had to hold himself together, but all he could think of was..the girl with the pink ribbon, yes, he would not think her name.
He banged his fist fiercely on his desk, a pack of paperclips fell and scattered on the floor. In all his 20 years he had never witnessed something so heinous, so callous, to someone so young, so innocent. For him to have been the one that had done it, well that was definitely something out of the ordinary.

whoa.
that was a pretty full on blog i wrote below..
i was really angry.
but i think i'll keep it there.

soo anyway..

:O the DH book covers were released.
im not much of a fan of either but it was exciting to look at the two, compare them and analyze them.
its really exciting but also extremely sad, this will be the last time ever we'll get a book title, a cover and other clues such as excerpts to theorize about and analysis and just plainly feel the excitement of receiving another insight into what will happen.
but i really don't like how the book and movie will come within a week of each other..it'll be awesome at the time but when its over it'll just be like now what do we do?
but i'm really interested to see what the movie is going to turn out like because there is so much in the book!!

well on a non-harry potter related note
i've been sick over the past few days but i'm feeling much better now which is lucky as i'm going clubbing thursday night, whooot!! its gonna be awesome! it'll be the second time i've gone out since i've turned 18!
and soon after that some of my friends will be 18 so we can go out more!
yay!

ooh had a driving lesson today! i killed it in reverse parallell parking! yess!! and im pretty much on top of my speed (im abit of a lead foot) so i should be right for my test in a few weeks!!

well anyway i'm off to eat i'm really hungry..haven't eaten much all day!
ciao
xo.

why do some people make you feel stupid for making certain decisions!
it may not work for you but it does for me.
don't make it sound like that your life and decisions are more important and that things i decide to do arent even worthy or are just stupid because you have 'real' things going on.

you dont understand and it pisses me off.

do you know what it feels like to have everyone have high expectations for you and when you fail they're disappointed or some are all like "omg i beat the smart kid! you must be pretty dumb" or just "oh i though you were smart"

well i do..

try being the best friend of someone who is pretty much perfect. i've always come in second best..never being quite as good as her. i had someone ask me once how it feels to always come in second to said person. and you know what annoys me even more..because people love her she gets what she wants. example: the one thing i actually happen to be better at then her she gets it over me because the teacher likes her better (and i'm not the only one who says this)!! but anyway does my friend even realise it? no..it meant so much to me and she doesn't even a care..she wants to make it all a joke and she even said herself shes not good at it. i spose theres one consolation..the teacher actually said to me, now that we've started, that i should have got it and i should ask my friend if we can swap. but i won't..how can i possibly ask that?!

but anyway maybe i shouldn't care about it all?..but thats me i do care and breaks me down..some people maybe able to shrug it off..especially when its been all your life..but im not a strong person therefore its damaged me. so that is why i don't want people to know..its why i cant express myself or tell things to people in fear of getting hurt and being looked down upon.

do you understand yet??

well i have to say it's not only being a second best failer..its the idiots who made mine and some of my friends lives hell. we missed out on so much of our teenage years because of them. they shattered our self-esteem and made us afraid to even talk to or trust other people..i'm not so sure about my friends but i know i had enough shit going on at home. i didn't want to be there and because of them i didnt want to be at school. but thank god around year9/10 we got seperated due to electives and met other people from other classes and realised that there were people at school who were decent human beings.

someone once told me that our group doesn't seem open or inviting to outsiders..and what ive written above is the reason why, we're not snobbing you or don't like you, we just didn't know how to be open to others with the fear of being put-down again hanging over us.
but we're getting better now..we're talking to people..making new friends. making up for lost time. those idiots ruined "the best years of our lives" but not anymore..most of us are still cautious and guarded..but not so much as we used to be.

now do you see?
..so don't condescend me because you just don't understand!
anyone of you reading this may think all this sounds emo and teenage angsty "boohoo no one understands me" but i dont really care.
what i've written above is how it is. i have not exaggerated. i'm not looking for attention. i'm just really angry and want to rant.

today at school softball!!
we won both games by mercy rule!
yesss.
but now im really tired and have homework to do
and also socialising on myspace and msn.
haha that sounds real loser-ish!
but meh im too tired to care?
whoa i really need to do more updates..im pretty sucky at this blog thing!
but no one even reads this anyway..it'll be good to look back on! ahaha not.
hmmmmmmmmm...
OH! i found the video editing program on my computer and im now up and running on youtube!! http://www.youtube.com/RebJuXo
yay!
ooh going to the city either saturday or sunday..we cant work out which day!!
woooo getting bloc party tickets tomorrow..soo excited!
but not excited about maths which is also tomorrow..maths sucks and im behind on work!
im soo lazy!
booking my driving test on tuesday! scary!
well im gonna go start psychology homework!
joyus!

xo.

well this weekend hasn't been much for excitement.
i went to the footy on friday..we lost but i had an awesome time!
..hehe i could buy alcohol because of my new adult status!
but other than that i did homework all day yesterday and i should be doing it today..right now..but meh.
haha i was watching this partridge family movie thing on tv before..it was pretty good!
you know what i just realised? how much i would really love to go to edinburgh for DH release..i want to go soo bad! also going to prophecy would be awesome but australia is too far away from everywhere and i have no money =[
my only hope is winning the lottery..so fingers crossed eh!
i'm starting to get into the youtube thing! i haven't actually posted anything, i've started doing blogs just on my camera but they are pretty lame compared to other peoples i've seen! i'm not a very creative person! so they'll most likely be sitting on my computer until i can find a creative use for them! but i do have some videos my friends and i have done which could work, but i dont think i have an editing program on my computer! haha total ameteur.

well anyway i might go find some friends on here..or go do homework. ahh should do homework :S

xo.

Well today I'm still sick and off school!
I'm going to going to have so much catching up to do next week  =[
Tomorrow I've got a photoshoot for the acting agency I'm with..I hope im feeling better..I really dont want to cancel!!
..and I have work on sunday!
ahhh!
Ooh I booked in for driving lessons so hopefully I'll be able to get my licence soon..
Yess!!..
Now all I need is a car!

Well I'm going to go have a shower and get changed because I'm still in my pjs!..and also finish listening to a certain podcast from a few weeks ago because I'm a bit behind!

ciao
xo.

hey hey!!

im really bored and thought i'd start up a journal!
rad i know.
erm well not much happened today!
but on saturday i turned 18!!
whoot.
won $40 on the pokies and went night clubbing..
well im gonna end this boring blog and try and make my journal awesome-like

peace
xo